People always talk about doing the right thing. But no one really talks about how even by doing the right thing, it doesn’t mean that things become right.
It all comes with consequences. Many of them great, vast and causes expansive ripples, bigger than what we thought it could have took. Its more than just a mere righting a wrong between two parties. Two becomes four, and multiplies by a dozen.
Its often painful.
Instead of a weight being lifted off your shoulder, it often comes with greater fear.
Its like opening the floodgates to a great unknown or a can of worms you don't know how to fit back into the can.
By talking about it, the other person could either forgive you, or be reminded by the wrong and become further enraged by it. And even if they did forgive you, a seed is planted. You are ‘tainted’. A chip is taken out of you, and you are not perfect anymore. You are incomplete.
Coming face to face with your ugliness is scary. It’s a great process. But I’d rather think of myself less than more. I’d rather think that I had so many wrongs to right, than think that I have nothing to change at all.
I can tell you it takes so much courage and so much of ourselves to come to that point of repentance and redemption. No, even as I write that, I do not think I am brave or courageous. Its the last thing on my mind. I fear, and rightly so. It should take so much of ourselves, so that we remember never to do it again.
Today I am reminded never to do that again.
Even though its painful, I know this refinement only means I’m being molded.
I’m becoming an improved version of myself.
Today is horrible, but I'm glad it happened.
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